finally.......

finally im free from my 9 freaking exams which were damn damn damn stressful for me for the past 3 weeks for goodness sake.. really have sleepless nite. yesterday actually slept for like 3 hours only okay! or maybe less and turn out what.....actually had sacrificed my sleep and yet not many of the Qs i spotted came out..haih realllly disappointed la...when doing the exam that time really 'pek chek' la...really worried bout the outcome but not going to think bout it. am going to relax myself first and reallllly anticipating to go back home!!!!!! cant wait mann.... and its going to realize in like 2 more days!!! woohooo....!

well just now just came back from 1 Borneo to celebrate missy debra's birthday...its so happened that her roomie too falls on the same date as her. actually suppose to go there with yvonne but she have to buy some stuff for our cg this coming sat. then while waiting for yvonne there was this kk bus was about to move and its so happened after yvonne told me i will need to go 1 borneo myself, then shit kk bus just left.. wokeh....need to wait 4 another bus and its going to take much time... then so happened e mui jz arrived at kg e bus stop and luckily she's on the way to 1 borneo so she offered me a ride. haha...save time.
so me munseng von and peter went to pizza hut for dinner while the 2 bday gals and cas went to watch james bond movie. and throughout the dinner we really talk crap alot la...... then later he told us that we might not go to labuan....so sad....was like craving to go there cuz besides being a chocoholic wanna experience the place there. and he said we can change our plan to kudat then. he claimed that its not worth it to go there by ferry as it takes 3 hours and that the weather now its not advisable to go there as it is now raining season and would be dangerous cuz may cause big waves. finally we came to a point that we might go to kk instead tomorrow to filipino market etc.
p/s : im so so very sure deb's going to complain and post about this labuan issues. hahaha...

cant stand d....very very sleepy now. thats it all for now. love the meaningful lyrics of here in my life- hillsongs. <3

deadliest subject!!!!

okay i suppose to post this blog upon request from debra last week but unfortunately sumtin mess stuff happened.. so kinda type halfway and thrown to draft box..haih.. so allrite from my title u know im REALLLY having a MASSIVE CRISIS.... real HUGE OK!!!! its all because of the solely killing subject..none other than SAINS BUMI DAN PLANET!!! Erghh....hate that subject so much.......why on earth do we have to take that subject....maybe its some kind of mental torture from my lecturer though....hopefully not goin to retake le.... neway its over so not goin to talk bout it. haha..

finals....

finals = my bigggessst world critical crisis!!!! never knew is going to strike me in just a nick of time!! hardly had the ample time to actually focus well on that particular subject and that time passes so quickly when you are not actually aware of it. damn....theres like 2 ppib exams in one day and the last day also 2 teras sekolah exams. shit....hope can turn back time but that is sooo impossible and thinking bout it, its really suffocating me now.....

yesterday just sat for my kokum exam...guess what we are given 4 power point slides in which consists on 82,47,27,14 slides and the Qs only come out from the least slides!! im like reading the other slides till half dead already and it turned out to be just.....THAT.. haih...hope that the following exams will not be a burden but i sensed its never going to happen. it will be real torturing! im going haywire already.....am now digesting the complicated science stuff. shud stop bloggin in d meant time then. perhaps will be going to church with a zombie look.....
=( worry...

back in action...! ( i guess)

allrite here am i blogging.......!!! kinda lost touch already cuz its like donkey months i have not updated my blistering boring blog!! and im like what the hell shud i write... hmm...actually i just came back from kg AB cuz we are FORCE to join the fencing competition....and crazy mann...im at there from like 7.40am till 8.30pm and its reallly just a waste of time.... the losing teams but of course its including my team la have to sit around killing time. and its really getting my nerves la cuz have to wait for the foil category to end....after that is the epee category and the 'best' thing is that foil actually ended up at 6pm!! siow mann! perhaps theres toooo many female fencers which outweight the male fencers. my team actually consists of 3 members but unfortunately one of my member,a senior did not turn up. Darn! absolutely we are going to lose for sure....and im like soooo freakingly bad in fencing watz more im against seniors who are way to pro and quick to hit our targetted parts..that it really hits my belly! to add to my misery, we actually have to wear the masks and attire which are damn smelly and wet..! bcuz there were like more than 20 of us to take turns changing the attire once is our turn...never in my life have to wear an attire which is entirely super stink! oh gosh, the smell kinda stuck to my shirt and i have to go bck by bus with that smell clinging onto me....ergh..really eww..
watz more its raining cats and dogs and im like super hungry d... all my shoes and attire were all drenched Completely. im like soaking wet in a pool of water. then after allighted from the bus fuhh..at last reached my room. and guess what i have to 'accelerate' myself to finish up my stupid assignment..haih...and im actually struggling with it till the next morning and am nw blogging at 5.35am as im tooo bored and at 9am i have to go to dc for the Hari Koku thingy. just a waste of time mann. oly have 3hours of sleep in between. freaking damn pathetic!! I sooo goin to complaint to my mummy,fam and frenz when im back..haha..miss them loads... miss malacca food so much...! my couz claimed that i will be a 'halal' freak staying in kg e... yeah rite....no choice kan.... and shit final exams around the corner. not even ready yet!! so sleepy nw....going to take forty winks then...

provoking thoughts

For the 1st time i'm going to further my studies in a place which is never ever comes into my mind. a place i never expected to picture or to be there myself all by my own. a place which is far away from home for like almost 20years. I'm going to fly to kk in 2days time which is a place full of greenery and the beauty of its natural surrounding not knowing the obstacles which lies ahead of me.

I kinda feel drastically down the 1st time i got to know my uni and course through online. i was really devastated,clearly because it was not my top choice moreover somewhere far away. that particular day was a hell 4me. Clueless of what to think and the thoughts that were playing in my mind was just imcomparable. its like all the negative thoughts were just bombarding me. not given an ample space to breath. i felt so trapped and lost. i even contemplating about the offer when the clock struck 1.3oa.m. i felt bad for my mum too because she was completely speechless of what to say whenever i asked her about my condition whether to go for it or to turn down. as you all know mums want the best out of the best for their beloved children right?... so i felt so wrong for her.... =( but anyway i love her dearly for caring for me... =)

anyhow no matter what happen we still have to look ahead and think positively...maybe its a blessing in disguise i got the offer there. all i can do is to be grateful for what i have got now because i know God shines me the light. He is the one who show me the road,the road less travelled,my destiny.

p/s: i kinda wrote 1/3 of the paragraph below on the 10 july bcuz =( i cant on9. so basically the story kinda divert a lil. haha neway nobody is going to read my blog...so who cares i wrote crappy stories haha

Waiting

Frankly speaking, patience is never my type. i can be like so patient a minute and another way round the other minute. well what the heck...no one is perfect after all. even albert einstein( the smarty nerdy ) one or the whole bunch of freaking nerds or the extremist do made/make mistakes. i'm not being patronizing on purpose. pardon me should i insult any of you. anyway no one is going to read my blog...

Allright the thing is it's really getting my nerve considering the fact that we haven't got any feedback from the goverment on which Uni we get and worst of all we are all waiting anxiously for the courses and the state they chucked us! why are they taking so slow to reveal them? or they are just buying time. time is ticking away and curiousity is killing me.

What sort of system is this?... others have started studying way back then ( 2 or 3 weeks ago ) and we, the ones' waiting for the goverment U are STILL WAITING in anticipation like a rotten apple. its time to change for goodness sake! could u just imagine we have to be in this so called 'complicated' situation. first up, u have to EITHER choose to continue to study in local varsity OR to apply a place in private u. and then if you're afraid that you would not get the course or the place you desire,off you landed yourself in private u and subsequently force to spare one lump sum of big bucks. and........if luck happened to strike on you then your bucks is now drained to their piggy bank and they're going to jump for joy. hell, they are going to earn alot.

I got a call this evening from my ex-colleague claiming that the result is out. i was like cannot be. she must be kidding or heard wrongly. anyway the papers havent publish anything yet. so again wait............... i hope He shines me the right path.

churning emotions....

It has been quite awhile i have not blog as there were a string of events unpredictably happened in my life. not to mention its the bad happenings or should i say bad omen i wouldnt want to flashback. its really killing me inside but i keep myself telling that there is always ups and downs in life and that i should faced the fact and with great courage to deal with it.

i started to question myself again....why should i put into these miserable yet pain in the neck situation? why should it be me? why should it be me to carry these whole loads of burden? why people seemed to ignore the things that i had gone through? cant they put themselves in my shoes? why are they being so cruel that everything i have done is just of no use and shouldnt be cherish at all!!!? cant they just trust and believe in me for once? am i that worst?

i am who i am not what i am... im just a normal person that loves to be appreciated and to feel that my presence do make a lil difference in each and everyone that is in my life.....eventhough if he or she is a stranger to me. i just want to be a good samaritan...

maybe it is God's will to open up my eyes and to go through these tremendous trials and turbulations with an open heart....but not to ponder and dwell over the past. its me that i need to direct myself. but i couldnt help it but to say sometimes i do go overboard. haih.. just useless.