Monday, May 19, 2008

churning emotions....

It has been quite awhile i have not blog as there were a string of events unpredictably happened in my life. not to mention its the bad happenings or should i say bad omen i wouldnt want to flashback. its really killing me inside but i keep myself telling that there is always ups and downs in life and that i should faced the fact and with great courage to deal with it.

i started to question myself again....why should i put into these miserable yet pain in the neck situation? why should it be me? why should it be me to carry these whole loads of burden? why people seemed to ignore the things that i had gone through? cant they put themselves in my shoes? why are they being so cruel that everything i have done is just of no use and shouldnt be cherish at all!!!? cant they just trust and believe in me for once? am i that worst?

i am who i am not what i am... im just a normal person that loves to be appreciated and to feel that my presence do make a lil difference in each and everyone that is in my life.....eventhough if he or she is a stranger to me. i just want to be a good samaritan...

maybe it is God's will to open up my eyes and to go through these tremendous trials and turbulations with an open heart....but not to ponder and dwell over the past. its me that i need to direct myself. but i couldnt help it but to say sometimes i do go overboard. haih.. just useless.